Strip joint attempts to reopen as “essential” business

May 4, 2020May 4, 2020 Kevin

Konstantin T./iStock(HOUSTON, Texas) — Good news: Texas is starting the process of reopening the state after COVID-19 caused it to close down.

Bad news: You won’t be able to gawk at booty-shaking strippers anytime soon.

The New York Daily News reports that a Texas strip joint named Club Onyx tried joining the leagues of restaurants and other hospitality businesses allowed to reopen on Friday. The club even modified its rules to include no parties over six individuals and absolutely no lap dances, all in order to reopen as a “restaurant with entertainment” — one of the types of businesses allowed to reopen.

“Seating will be limited as we will be following state guidelines and health recommendations of social distancing,” the club happily advertised last week. “We will have sanitary stations set up with hand sanitizer and all staff will be practicing the strictest sanitary guidelines.”

One problem with the plan: Onyx really doesn’t have a restaurant license, which caused the joint to be raided by police and the fire marshal shortly after its grand reopening.

Eric Langan, who owns the strip club, fully believes he can reopen and even brandished his club’s health permit — which describes the place as a “full-service restaurant.”

It’s unknown how he plans to reopen his establishment without getting raided again by the police.